Valentine’s Day Gifts for Slackers

Abbie Giles

February 9, 2021

So you’ve waited a bit too long to buy your special someone a gift for Valentine’s day. It’s a simple mistake that we’ve all made one time or another. I can help you, show you the way. What do you do? You buy one of the items on this list, that’s what you do. And I beg you, please don’t attempt and craft your way out of this pickle.

1) A Box of Chocolates :(
Once you’ve considered buying your person a box of chocolates, you know you’ve hit rock bottom. I should make a disclaimer before sending you out to purchase this ever-so-overdone gift: expensive chocolate is good chocolate. No Hershey’s, please. But seriously, I could write a hate piece about Hershey’s milk chocolate. It tastes like plastic, sadness, and childhood. Now, go splurge for the Godiva, would ya?

2) Buy Their Favorite Pastry
This option comes with a disclaimer as well: make sure it’s a pastry that they enjoy. I know that this matters from personal experience. I have a friend who’s birthday is coming up and I was trying to think of a gift. As with most thoughts of mine, my mind goes directly to food. I remembered that a new macaron bakery had just opened up right near me. “How convenient,” I thought. So I pulled up my little iMessage window during my English class (I’m sorry Mr. Theising) and texted to ask if this friend liked macarons. Turns out, they do not. Thankfully I found out before I made the purchase so I didn’t have to eat them myself… wait.

3) A Comfy
This is a PERFECT Galentine’s day gift for a friend who may not have a special someone to keep them warm in this cold, cold, February weather. Just hop on over to your local Bed, Bath, and Beyond! On another note, who needs a special someone? No one! You’re a strong, independent person on your own. Go out and buy your own chocolates. Go out and buy your own pastries. You don’t need the validation of having a companion to do so! …Can you tell I own a Comfy?

4) Chocolate Covered Strawberries
Speaking of which, why don’t you open up your email and sign up to have some chocolate strawberries delivered to your recipient by Winch Student Gov? It only costs a small, small fee of 3 dollars. But remember that it’s cash only and you must fill out a form per order!!

5) “I thought we weren't doing the whole ‘gift’ thing”
Pretty self explanatory. If someone did this to me, I would hit them. But desperate times call for very desperate measures.

I feel like I should reiterate the comment I made about Comfys. You truly don’t need a close special someone or significant other to be happy with yourself. You need to be able to make yourself happy in a sustainable way before you can try to do the same for a whole other person. Keeping this mindset will work out well for you in the long run. It can feel lonely during this time of the year but trust me, you’re probably better off.