Juniors and Our Futures

Sarah Irenshtain

February 9, 2021

It is almost unimaginable to me that next year I'll be a senior and then the following, I'll once again be a freshman, aimlessly wandering the halls of the complex world that will be college. I mean the whole point of going to a prep school is to prepare me for college, so why does it feel like I'll be thrown right into the deep end the second college comes around?

Let me start by saying I'm definitely no expert. I'm running on a couple practice tests and two college counseling meetings, but I can express that I'm feeling swarms of anxiety and excitement, like many of you. Around this time, many of my senior friends are hearing back from colleges and they're all experiencing a frenzy of acceptances, deferrals, and straight up rejections. I just can't get it in my head that next year, that'll be me. They'll be off living with their roommate, joining clubs, rushing for greek life, and attending office hours for their difficult classes while I'll be one step closer to doing it all myself.
Some days, I wish I could wind it all back and revisit my sophomore year. After all, I practically lost half of it to Covid, so it's only fair that I get a redo, right? Or sometimes I prefer to think about how I'll feel later on in my senior year, already chosen a college, plagued with senioritis and planning what I'll wear while strutting around some fancy new campus.Those day dreams are more brief though, since they lead to; what I will study? Who will I become? What am I going to do for the rest of my life? And countless other profound questions that i'm not ready to deal with.
Work hard now, play hard later. This is the expectation we go through as Juniors. Is it too much for me to want to experience every last bit of highschool as high school and then when time is right move onto college? Rather than spending half my time studying for one test that's responsible for judging my intelligence. Personally, I'm under the impression that it is not measuring intelligence, rather its only ability is measuring how adept students are at taking said test. How should I even interpret the number I'm given? What's it supposed to say about me? What is it supposed to tell the college board about every single thing I've experienced throughout my life?
I could continue with questions forever, but for now I would like to take everything day by day and see where I go next. My best advice to everyone is to start preparing, and stop worrying. Things will fall into place, and we're practically all in the same boat. Throughout the year, as we go through this process together, I plan on continuing to write about what I uncover.